


And We're Twirling Till Sunrise

by thatonegreenpencil



Series: Connor has Feelings and Evan is oblivious [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Jealous Connor, M/M, Oblivious Evan, Pining, Prom, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Slow Dancing, Social Anxiety, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonegreenpencil/pseuds/thatonegreenpencil
Summary: Evan is invited to prom, Connor is a bit jealous, and there are Feelings that go unnoticed because Jared is bringing the drinks. Non-alcoholic of course, because Alana and Zoe would kick his ass otherwise.(Reading of the series' previous entry is not necessary to enjoy this fic!)





	1. Pre-Prom

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted a prom fic of these gay boys that was supposed to be a thousand words long but now it's chaptered and there is an idea for a series and the first chapter is almost 3,000 words how did this happen: a life story.

“P-Prom?” Evan asks. He looks down at Alana’s shoes, and then his own. “Prom. Right, well, I guess I haven’t really… thought about it?”

Immediately she pounces on him, causing him to take a step back. Her rapid-fire words and dominating attitude don’t scare him like they used to, but the feverish look in her eyes is kind of alarming. Even for Alana. “Evan,” she says. “ _ Evan.  _ You’re telling me that, even though ticket sales are starting  _ tomorrow _ and have been in the morning announcements for  _ weeks _ … You haven’t thought about it?”

“W-was I supposed to?” Under Alana’s mortified expression, Evan feels as if he’s committed something akin to treason. Broken some unwritten rule of high school that everyone knew but him. He does that daily anyway, but never have the people he talks to—Zoe, Connor, Alana—ever  _ confronted _ him on it. Not even Jared, who takes special care to point out everything Evan does wrong and shove it in his face. Which Evan appreciates sometimes because it prevents unexpected backed-into-a-corner situations like… this.

Alana tsks. “Well, it’s okay. I figured you hadn’t known because Connor rolled his eyes when I asked him his morning and told me to shove off—not with those words, but Connor’s Connor.” She crosses her arms, gains a calculating edge to her face. “You’re lucky to have connections with me, the student council president, because I think I can still save you and Connor tickets even though students will be trampling over themselves at lunch tomorrow and reservations are going to fill up  _ quickly _ . Although I really wish you’d told me sooner, it’s not like it’s a  _ ton _ of work but it’s a little bit of a pain to balance you guys and the other people who have come up and asked me—”

“Um,” says Evan, because he’s learned long ago that Alana will happily go on talking until the bell rings and because he doesn’t feel like exploding when he interrupts her anymore, “I might… not want to go? And Connor too?” 

Not like they’ve really talked about it. Based on what Alana’s said, Connor doesn’t seem to like the idea of prom, and Evan can’t imagine Connor dancing happily in a midst of people when he’s constantly pissed off at society. And fancy events where all anyone does is mingle with each other while staring at each others’ outfits is not Evan’s scene, to put it lightly. He feels his fingers tingle with a nervous buzz just thinking about it.

Alana’s eyebrows crunch together. “Have you even talked about it with him? With anyone?” She keeps going before Evan can even open his mouth. “‘Well, Zoe mentioned… You know what, we can discuss it tonight. I’ll leave reservations for you anyway, in case. The Student Council’s not  _ supposed _ to be a hierarchical organization but I have a  _ bit _ more power than the other officers—” 

Evan’s grateful when a shrill  _ beep _ cuts across her words. Alana’s great, but the last time she went in this direction she went off about how democracy could never be truly reached, a ramble that’d lasted for twenty minutes. “Time to head to Bio.” She sounds slightly disappointed; she would’ve loved to talked for another twenty minutes about political theory. “I’ll see you later, Evan!”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll see you.” 

The silence she leaves behind is soon filled by thoughts of  _ prom _ —an area he knows nothing about outside of the cheesy high school flicks Connor and Zoe showed him. And as he walks to study hall, prom festers inside his mind like a horrible, tuxedoed monster that brings with it a current of nervous jitters. Consumes him, because is he supposed to be attending this? Is he missing out on an essential high school experience? But he’s never been to anything even  _ close _ to prom before—he’d always stayed home for middle school semi-formals and high school dances. By trying to obey one essential high school rule, it’s likely he’ll break a thousand others at prom through sheer incompetence. 

Evan wishes he never heard about prom. He wishes he’d run away at the first sight of Alana approaching him at his locker—although that would’ve just made her hurt and confused which is even  _ worse _ so he’ll just backtrack on that thought. The way she’d phrased it made prom sound like an inevitability and Alana usually knows the goings-on of these things. Of social standards.

He texts the second person in his life who knows about social standards. Not his mom—who would be second if she wasn’t at work and didn’t dote on him so much—but Jared Kleinman. Jared is notorious for texting furiously under his desk during class so accessibility isn’t a problem. And as stated before: he’s brutally honest with these things.

(1:06 PM) Jared, are you going to prom?

As suspected, the reply is almost instantaneous.

_ (1:06 PM) r u asking??? Wtf man _

_ (1:07 PM) dude im bi but im not into u sry _

_ (1:07 PM) appreciate u wantign to tap this ass though, thx _

_ (1:08 PM) gimme a bit of a wrning nxt time _

_ (1:08 PM) ah the scent of hs love _

The messages ping so rapidly that Evan barely has time to process what’s even going on. That happens a lot with Jared.

(1:10 PM) No, Alana came up to me and asked if I was going to reserve tickets and I didn’t really know?

_ (1:11 PM) how do u kow if ur not going to prom _

_ (1:11 PM) its either u do or dont _

_ (1:12 PM) ur either a weirdo loner w no frnds or a sheep like evryone else _

(1:13 PM) So it’s weird if I don’t go?

_ (1:14 PM) lemme just tell u this _

_ (1:14 PM) evryone goes to prom _

_ (1:15 PM) but noone will notice if u dont _

_ (1:15 PM) im prob ognna go bc my parents alrdy bought a tux _

_ (1:16 PM) but u do u _

Jared, despite outer appearances, kind of gets Evan.

(1:17 PM) Thanks, Jared.

_ (1:18 PM) go forth yng padawan _

Jared doesn’t even answer his original quandary of whether or not he should go to prom, but their conversation does transform the ball of roaring anxiety into a small mewl at the back of his mind.

Evan doesn’t exit out of the messenger app right away. His finger hovers on Connor’s name for a bit, above the blurry profile picture of Connor looking up at a tree.

Not like Connor will respond right away. Connor’s actually been working hard to bring up his grades for the past few months to secure his admission into the local community college. Evan’s sneaked a couple glances at Connor’s notes, something the teen himself is very reluctant to share. Evan’s not sure why because, although Connor’s handwriting is barely more legible than a toddler’s scribbles, they cover page-to-page and incorporate very detailed and comprehensive diagrams. Just thinking about it makes Evan’s chest swell with pride. His friend’s come a long way—and they’ve come a long way as friends. 

There’s not as much improvement in the social department, however. Even though Connor’s opened up a lot towards his family, Evan, and the rest of his friend group, he knows that Connor still struggles. Similar to Evan. 

And understandably, doesn’t seem thrilled at the idea of prom. Similar to Evan.

He figures it’s not even worth bringing up the subject to Connor. It’s not like Evan has his heart set on going either, and even if he did, there’s no reason Connor would feel obligated to come along. 

So when he and Connor get slushies after school, they talk about homework and nature and ‘this cool video of how windows are made that was on twitter.’ Not prom. Evan kind of sort of waits for Connor to bring it up, even just a passing comment about how stupid school events are—but there’s nothing. Nothing about how Connor is behaving or carrying himself betrays a hint of annoyance or exasperation, either. And Evan would like to believe that after months of hanging out with him almost every day, he knows how to read Connor. 

He’s aware that he’s one of the worst when it comes to reading people, and many would testify that Connor’s one of the hardest people to read. But Connor has tells, like how his mouth quirks down when he doesn’t want to talk or how he tilts his head a little in your direction to show that he’s listening even though he’s not looking. When something’s on his mind, his tone is sharpened with biting sarcasm or his words pitter out completely and leave behind a frigid silence.

There’s nothing that set off alarm bells today. Connor talks about the slushie being ‘too fucking artificial’ but slurps it all down anyway; blasts heavy rock music and then lowers the volume when he spots Evan barely keeping his eardrums and sanity from exploding and says, “You’ll get it one day;” drops Evan off at home with reminders to “take deep breaths and just talk to the pizza guy, you did it the past ten weeks you can do it again.” 

He can only hope Connor is enjoying this after-school moment as much as he is. It’s hard to contribute when so much of his mind is fixated on finding  _ reassurance _ and yeah, maybe prom hasn’t quite left his mind as much as he’d wanted it to. Maybe he wants to know that someone else is thinking about this as much as he is. 

He considers mentioning prom the moment he’s stepped out of the car but Connor’s already driven off, and texting him about his deep insecurities five minutes after they’ve said goodbye seems stupid, even for him.

So instead of concentrating so hard on the knot in his stomach, Evan pushes it aside in favor of homework and reheated Chinese from last night. He’s tearing away at pieces of orange chicken and his English essay when his phone buzzes from beside him.

Zoe’s name flashes on the screen. After scrambling to gulp down all the food in his mouth, Evan jabs the answer button. “Um, hello, Zoe?”

He’s no longer outright terrified of talking to Zoe after seeing her and hanging out with her so often during his dinners and outings with Connor. He might not even have a crush on her anymore after his brain pulled her off the pedestal he’d set her on. But even so, she’s still sweet, beautiful Zoe. And Evan is still not a huge fan of unexpected social interaction. 

“Evan, hey.” Zoe’s voice is bright, excited, to the point where he can visualize the gleam in her eyes. “What do you think about going to prom together?”

Evan’s brain short-circuits.

Because.

What?

“This isn’t much of a promposal, sorry,” she says sheepishly. “But tickets go on sale tomorrow and a night out with you sounded fun…plus I heard from Alana that you were kind of on the edge between ‘yes’ and ‘no.’”

Evan releases a breath. 

Of course Alana is involved. She’s usually the one to orchestrate the plots within their small circle of friends. But it’s hard to feel disappointed at someone else’s influence in all this when his brain is hung up on ‘going to prom’ and ‘together’ existing in the same grammatical space.

Again, he doesn’t get sweaty hands around Zoe anymore. Not even those freaky wiggly awkward smiles. But going to prom with someone is miles above everyday chatter on his social anxiety scale, and not in the good way.

The pause in the conversation, Evan realizes, has gone on way too long. “Um I haven’t really thought about it but you know, of course I’d love to but I haven’t really bought, um, a suit or anything? And Jared said he’d already bought a suit so I was thinking that it was a little too late and plus don’t I have to rent a limo because that’s what—”

“A limo?” Zoe laughs, cutting clear through his incoherent rambling. “Nobody rents a limo, and you shouldn’t stress about it. Just come in your best big-boy clothes and focus on having a good time. It’s no big deal.”

“If you’re—okay, sure, yeah. Let’s go to prom, um, together.” Evan gulps. “Is… Is Connor going?”

“I really really doubt it. But I guess if you’re going he might.” 

Evan doesn’t quite get the correlation between him going and Connor going. They’re friends, maybe even best friends, but surely Evan’s friendship with Connor doesn’t override the latter’s immense hatred toward parties. Plus, Evan can’t imagine his friend wearing a stuffy collared suit when all he ever swears are baggy sweatshirts and t-shirts while staring at Evan’s polo shirts like they personally offend him. 

If Zoe catches his doubtful silence, she doesn’t say. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll text him. And, um, thanks for the invite Zoe I really appreciate it because otherwise I probably wouldn’t have gone that sounds really sad but, um, it’s probably true but now I’m going to try it because you asked so thanks again.”

“Well,” Zoe says, soft and sincere, “I know that these sorts of events don’t exactly make you the most comfortable either so… Thanks for accepting. And for giving it a shot. Be sure to talk to my brother, and I’ll see you later.”

The call ends with a  _ beep _ and a breath leaves Evan in a rush. He’s not thinking about prom as crowded spaces and judging eyes. Now he’s thinking about prom as Zoe and Jared and Alana (and maybe Connor) and as laughs and a good time. A significant upgrade.

He paces his room for a while, processing it all. Then, true to his word, he pulls out his phone and begins to text.

(5:49 PM) I think I’m going to prom. Are you?

**(5:53 PM) evan what**

**(5:53 PM) i didnt know you cared**

(5:54 PM) I didn’t really but Zoe kind of asked me?

**(5:56 PM) my sister asked you to prom**

**(5:56 PM) well good going hansen you landed it big**

**(5:56 PM) dont do any weird shit with her**

(5:58 PM) Haha yeah don’t worry, she’s too good for me

(5:59 PM) We’re just going as friends. Alana roped her into it I think?

(6:01 PM) Do you think you might go?

**(6:05 PM) prom is pretty fucking stupid**

**(6:06 PM) so maybe but most likely not**

**(6:08 PM) and just because i know youre sitting there worrying about stupid shit**

**(6:09 PM) you have my blessing to take my sister to prom**

**(6:09 PM) even though she asked you first**

(6:13 PM) Thanks Connor, really.

**(6:14 PM) you can thank me when you stop thinking about prom**

**(6:15 PM) because you always worry about stupid shit and prom is on the list**

(6:17 PM) You know me so well

(6:17 PM) Thanks again (smiley)

Evan is left feeling upbeat but a little empty inside. He didn’t know he was looking for any sort of blessing but now that he’s got it, he’s sort of relieved. That someone is saying it’s okay that Zoe is taking him out to prom when she could’ve literally asked anyone else who’s better than him. That they might be okay together after all.

Connor knows him very well—more so than the rest of his friends, although they’re all decent at figuring him out by this point. Connor just gets it: when he’s feeling shitty or quiet or withdrawn, Connor gets it. Perhaps that’s why Evan feels disappointed to hear that Connor isn’t coming to prom, even though he didn’t expect anything different. He’d like someone there who isn’t swept up by the atmosphere like everyone else; someone who will lead him by the hand, gently, so even though they’re lagging behind they’re still having fun at their own, hesitant pace.

So basically, Evan wants Connor there because he knows that Connor will also not have fun like him. Evan is aware that he is a selfish, horrible person.

He almost has a mild attack when Alana texts him saying that she heard from Zoe and already reserved tickets. For a horrifying moment, he feels like he’s chaining himself to a ship that’s doomed to sink and thinks about definitively backing out. But he remembers his promise to Connor and how he wouldn’t think about stupid shit. Thinking about horrible scenarios that have a slight percentage of happening is definitely on Connor’s list of stupid shit (he’d said as much whenever they were at the orchard talking about life stuff and whenever Evan happened to get an anxiety attack during school), so he buries the thoughts into the deep crevices of his brain and texts back, “Sounds good.” 

When Alana texts back with several colorful emojis and links to cheap but luxurious tuxedo rental places, Evan wonders if he’ll even last till prom.


	2. Pre-Prom II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom outfits are revealed. Evan has many regrets, stunned silences, and denied feelings. Connor is responsible for at least one of those things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, they really mean so so much! Especially when prom has been done by so many other writers, I'm just touched that you gave this fic a chance despite that. Then again, we can never have enough prom :^)
> 
> Speaking of prom, this pre-prom scene got a bit too long so I decided to just squeeze another pre-prom chapter. Sorry if you were super looking forward to it, it wasn't on purpose I swear TAT Not to mention that things get worse before they get better for Evan & co.... but I hope you enjoy nonetheless :')

God, Evan should’ve practiced in the mirror.

He feels uncomfortable in his own skin as he stands in the kitchen, smiling what is definitely the most awkward smile he’s ever smiled in his life. His white collar is stiff and the bowtie around his neck is suffocating, and he has to physically fight off the urge to loosen it by digging his fingernails into his palms. 

His mother is oblivious to his struggle, unless she’s cruel enough to smile at the sight of her son being slowly killed by asphyxiation. “You’re looking so handsome, Evan!” she coos, snapping a couple photos and going to admire each one with slow swipes of her smartphone screen. “Chin up a bit, wide smile. There you go!” Despite Evan’s face not having moved an inch, his mom takes a few more pictures and nods, satisfied.

Heidi approaches him, tugs at the ends of his blazer that’s a size too big because the cheap rental store didn’t have anything else. “Now, remember,” she says in what Evan calls her ‘authoritative mom voice,’ “Loosen up, relax, don’t worry about anything else except having a good time.”

“I’m completely loosened, really relaxed, having a fun time already.” Complete (and even worse—obvious) lies pour out of his mouth like a fountain gone loose. He can already feel the sweat building up at the edge of his hairline. Zoe will probably notice and refuse to dance with him the whole night, and everyone will turn around and wonder why he has a date but he isn’t dancing with her. Then they’ll all notice the dripping sweat on his forehead and grimace, and if he accidentally bumps into someone at the buffet line they’ll probably  _ smell _ it too and he’ll be the only smelly kid in a field of flowery perfume and peppermint. They really should invent a deodorant for hair—or maybe they have and he just didn’t explore that avenue of thought while he stayed up for hours wondering what type of cologne to put on. (As it turns out,  _ none _ is the answer—he felt like too strong of a scent might attract weird looks.)

His mother considers him for a moment. “And if you need a break, don’t bottle it in. Tell Connor or Jared or Zoe and just. Go outside for a bit.”

“Okay.” Evan tugs at the corsage pinned to his lapel. Zoe picked it out because it matched her dress, and luckily, the dark blue rental tuxedo goes nicely with the sky-blue roses. He hopes dark blue will match with whatever color Zoe’s decided to wear. ‘It’s a surprise,’ she’d said, and Evan hadn’t said anything about being overly paranoid that their outfits wouldn’t match because that would classify as  _ weird _ . “I really think we should get going, in case—…”

“Oh of course, look at the time.” Evan’s promptly shooed into the car by his mom, who snatches her work bag just as the front door shuts behind them. “Everything good? Ticket? Phone? Hair still gelled?”

“Too late to fix it now,” Evan mutters as the engine shutters to life. He checks the status of his hair in the rearview mirror in spite of himself. A few loose strands that hopefully won’t make him look too disheveled by the time they get to the Murphys’. It hasn’t even crossed his mind that the Murphys will have higher standards for apparel because they’re  _ rich _ , and there is a high chance that they’ll turn their nose up at him the instant they see him in his over-sized tuxedo and deem him unfit to take their daughter to prom. No matter how much Connor claims “Evan, my parents love you to death, even more than they ever loved me, so please stop worrying.” Even if Evan disagrees with him, that’s what Connor would say if he were here to see Evan slowly breaking down into a nervous wreck.

But that ending might be even better for him? Because if this is how he is before prom, does he really want to subject everybody to what he’ll be like  _ during _ prom? Does he really want everyone to worry about him and prevent them from having a good time like they’re  _ supposed _ to, like they could have without him?

His hands are starting to build up sweat. While wiping them on the car seat, his palms skim across the outline of his phone in his pocket, reminding him (cruelly) that it’s not too late to back out. And the worst part is, it wouldn’t be that hard. Just one text. His mom and friends would be disappointed, but it’s hard to not disappoint people. And Evan’s a little bit tired. 

(6:38 PM) Hi Connor, can you tell Zoe that I might not be going? And that I’m really sorry. Sorry.

To his surprise, the response is instantaneous. Conversation between him and Connor have been a little stilted since Zoe asked him to prom. Not because Connor is mad (he thinks. He hopes) but because he’s just been off. That’s what Connor had said. He’d been feeling ‘off.’ Evan was scared to ask.

He wishes he had, because it might’ve made Connor’s answer a whole lot more clear.

**(6:38 PM) hansen you better come to prom i fucking swear**

**(6:38 PM) no you don’t even have to come to prom just get over here**

**(6:39 PM) i have not done this for nothing**

Curiosity is the only thing that keeps him from leaping out of the car whenever they hit a stop light. Well, curiosity and Connor, because he sounds pleading and Evan doesn’t want to shove a rejection in his face by telling him “oh, I just feel really really shitty about this whole thing” even though Connor would get it immediately. 

No, he’s probably already read in-between the lines and knows how shitty Evan’s feeling. But is trying to goad Evan into going anyway so Zoe doesn’t get upset. And he’d be a good brother for it. And Evan would be the bad one. He should just suck it up.

They pull into the driveway of the Murphys’ elegant, three-storied house in the middle of rich suburbia. Evan can’t imagine the look on his face but it must not be good, judging by the way his mom puts a motherly hand on his shoulder and grips tight while looking like she’s about to cry. “Like I said before, just enjoy yourself. It’s the high school experience, and it’s gone before you know it. Whether or not it’s good or bad.”

What kind of response she wants from him, he can’t tell. He doesn’t seem to be able to form words anyway, not when he’s getting a bit misty-eyed himself. Not when he’s on the brink of telling her that he doesn’t think he can do this.

Luckily (or unluckily), the front door of the house swings open and out comes Mrs.Murphy practically buzzing with excitement. “Evan, don’t feel like you have to sit in the car waiting for my daughter, come on out—and oh, Heidi, it’s been too long!”

Evan’s mother blinks the traces of liquid out of her eyes before turning to Mrs.Murphy with a smile. “Cynthia, you had us for dinner only a month ago.”

“Too long,” Mrs.Murphy tuts. “Get out of the car, both of you. Heidi, you should stay for a bit after the kids leave—”

“Oh no, I couldn’t, I have a shift for work at 8.”

“Just for a quick cup of coffee, I bought this all-natural vegan brand that tastes amazing—”

After fidgeting for a bit in his seat and realizing the conversation won’t end anytime soon, Evan takes up Mrs.Murphy’s offer and exits the car. 

Doing so puts him in the view of Mr.Murphy, who brightens and hollers into the house that Evan is here. Evan wishes he had a shell to shrink into right about now.

“Evan!” The man lets out a hearty laugh and slaps him in the back, something that wouldn’t have been half as awkward if Evan’s arms hadn’t been glued to his sides like a malfunctioning robot. “Looking real dashing there. Wish I could’ve looked as good as you at my prom.”

“T-thank you,” Evan stutters, face getting red, wondering if the complement is genuine or merely out of pity. His brain tells him the latter, and it’s  _ very _ hard to not trust your brain.

“I think Zoe and—”

“Evan!” A blur of midnight-blue zips down the stairs before barreling into him, the impact surprisingly soft as he finds himself in the middle of a light, affectionate hug. “The corsage looks good on you.”

“Y-you look beautiful,” Evan blurts. The dress falls to knee-height, sleeveless and secured around Zoe’s waist with an elegant bow that falls at her hips. “I mean, not like, your corsage looks great with your dress, but, of course your dress looks good too, it’s really pretty—and, well, everything really—you just. Look good.”

Zoe laughs and doesn’t comment on any smells or sweat and maybe this won’t be too bad? She looks  _ happy _ , actually happy, that he’s here. 

“Oh my god,” she says, still grinning. “Wait till you see Connor.”

Evan blinks. “Connor? But I thought he wasn’t going.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

At the new but familiar voice, Evan turns. He hears Zoe snickering from beside him but he can’t imagine why because Connor looks… really good. A well-cut blazer made out of some kind of black, velvety material is buttoned at his waist and adorned with a silk black ribbon loosely tied around his collar. His usually long, messy hair has somehow been tamed into submission, looking fluffier and well-groomed than usual. Smart, equally well-tailored black pants and dress shoes complete the outfit. Evan’s half-tempted to give him the corsage—it’d look better on Connor than himself.

On closer inspection, Connor looks about as comfortable as Evan feels. Which is to say—not at all. He stares at the ground like he’s just waiting for it to swallow him up—that is, until he sees Evan. Connor looks up and greets him with a sheepish smile. “Hey,” he says. “Ready to feel stuffy and miserable together?”

“Connor.” Mr.Murphy’s tone has an edge of warning in it mixed in with exasperation. “Why do you always insist on ruining the pleasant atmosphere?”

“I’m not going to be the one to sugarcoat it, Evan knows just how terrible this is going to be.”

Mr.Murphy’s frown deepens. “You know full well you’re the one who insisted on going at the last minute, so you’re in no position to complain.” 

“Well,” Connor says, shooting a glance at Evan, “misery loves company, doesn’t it?”

A rush of gratitude and relief floods him, bringing a timid smile to Evan’s face. “It’s okay Mr.Murphy, I’m glad Connor—um, it’s going to be a lot better with him there.” He freezes, glancing at Zoe who has this weird, satisfied smile on her face. “That’s—not that it was going to be bad with just you Zoe sorry that’s not what I meant—”

“Evan.” Zoe puts a hand on his shoulder. “Relax, I’m not offended or anything. Let’s just hope you’re right and  _ Connor _ —” she shoots a look at her brother, “—doesn’t ruin the mood.”

A comment that might’ve sent Connor flying into an angry rage a few months before now only elicits an eyeroll. “You’re the one who’s going to do something stupid.”

“You sound exactly like mom right now.”

They’ve come far. Evan is going to prom. Zoe is exchanging jokes with her brother. Connor is going to prom… for Evan’s sake. He thinks. It’s a selfish assumption to make. He changes it to: he hopes.

“Is this what you were talking about?” Evan blurts, cutting through the middle of their sibling banter. Mr.Murphy, who’d been looking lost as to whether or not he should intervene, takes this chance to escape to the driveway and join the other adults in conversation. “When you sent me the text, I mean. Because, um, you look good, I mean, like, good for prom? Fine, I mean. I’ve never really seen you in formal clothes?”

Connor blinks slowly. Run his fingers through his slicked-back hair. “I guess I haven’t been in formal clothes. For a long time.” He fidgets with the ribbon on his neck, ducks his head a bit. Embarrassed is a good look on him. (The realization is sudden and striking but also natural, like it was meant to be there. Evan pushes the thought from its comfortable position at the front of his mind to the back because he’s  _ going to prom with his sister, God.) _ “You look pretty dashing yourself.”

Zoe’s eyes dart between her brother and Evan. “How come you’re not telling Evan to not do anything stupid?” she asks, accusatory.

“Please,” Connor says, “we both know that Evan’s the most responsible out of the three of us.”

“Um actually, I, uh, think that Zoe’s the most responsible? Out of all of us?”

“Yes Evan, thank you. This is why he’s my date instead of you.” Zoe sticks out her tongue. The most childish she’s ever acted in front of him, Evan thinks. Ironic, considering this is the most formal event they’ve ever gone to together.

“Please don’t ever say something that fucked up ever again,” Connor says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Especially not in front of Evan. Christ, and I thought I was the messed-up one.”

Mrs.Murphy’s voice drifts through the entranceway. “Kids, come outside so we can take a picture!”

“Kids,” grumbles Connor, walking next to Evan and raising his voice so that only Evan can hear. “We’re fucking  _ eighteen _ .”

Nevertheless, they line up in a straight line like the good children they are and smile at the camera. That is, until Connor does sneaky bunny ears behind Zoe’s head and a retake is demanded, countered by Connor’s claim that the bunny ears are a welcome addition to what would’ve been a boring photo. As a lighthearted scuffle breaks out (not so light-hearted when Connor’s ribbon comes undone and has to be re-tied by an exasperated Mrs.Murphy), Evan stands to the side and thinks that this is Zoe and Connor’s way of making up for lost time.

Evan fingers the light blue flowers pinned to his chest. They’re all making up for lost things.

A few minutes later, to Evan’s surprise, Jared’s car pulls into the Murphys’ driveway. It’s followed closely by a sapphire blue Honda with Alana waving excitedly at them from the shotgun seat.

“Zoe invited them for pictures,” Connor mumbles to Evan, noticing his bewildered expression. Connor scuffles closer to him as Jared exits his car and exchanges greetings (insults) with Alana and soon after, Zoe. He’s wearing wearing a standard black-and-white suit with a bright floral tie. His standard brand of not giving a shit. 

Evan shoots Connor a smile he hopes is reassuring, not that he has a lot of that right now. Reassurance. If Connor noticed, he doesn’t show it, standing rigid and still as he looks determinedly away from Jared. Connor tolerates Jared on his good days, mostly because they both hang out with Evan and are part of the same group chat with them, Zoe, and Alana (although Connor’s left that chat repeatedly, only coming back each time at Evan’s pleading). Jared’s continued to joke and, most of the time, offend Connor despite the increasing tension between them and Evan’s timid warnings to ‘knock it out.’ They’ve reached a sort of plateau with their relationship, where it seems like both sides are waiting to push the other off the edge.

Evan steals a glance at Connor. “Are you—”

“It’s whatever.” 

The smile’s drained from Connor face, leaving behind eyes that are steeled for war rather than high school prom. Like he’s reminded himself that this is supposed to be a  _ battle _ —a fact that Evan had solidified in his head on the ride here and then just... forgot. Because Zoe, because Connor, had made him forget.

Evan wants to reach out to him, do something (because he knows what it feels like to be in the middle of a warzone completely and utterly alone) but Mrs.Murphy shouts for them to come over and pose. The least Evan can do is hesitate, turn his head towards Connor and wait for him to follow.

Connor’s eyes turn to him, lingers somewhere on his chest with an unreadable expression. “The devil calls,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets with a sigh.

Alana doesn’t look up from admiring Zoe’s dress as the two of them approach. “...very pretty material, my parents shopped  _ all over _ , even went to a couple family friends that are dressmakers but I couldn’t find anything that was light without having a bunch of frills. Your dress is really something—” 

“Hi there, stranger,” Jared says, sticking out a rigid hand towards Evan and leaving him at a bit of a loss. He instinctively glances towards Connor (it’s become sort of a habit, Connor giving him guidance through a ‘you’re fine’ sort of look in-between social bumbles), but his eyes are fixed on some random point on the ground. “Welcome to the land of suits,” Jared says with his game show announcer voice. “Congratulations on joining formal society. Not the TV show unless you want it to be.”

Alana turns to face them, and Zoe looks slightly disappointed that their conversation has been cut off. “Oh, hi! You two look really nice,” Alan chirps. Her dress seems to wave with her in little ripples of shimmering purple. She looks free, her dress secured with nothing more than a strap of fabric around her neck, hair down in loose, twirling curls that match the dress’s shimmer.

“You didn’t compliment me,” pouts Jared.

“Maybe if you weren’t such an annoying dick, Kleinman,” Connor mutters. Less malice than usual, Evan gives him that, but he sighs internally anyway.

“Sorry we can’t all be teen emo superstars like you, Murphy.”

Both Alana and Zoe open their mouths to say something (so does Evan, almost, because he  _ sees _ Connor tense, about to snap back with  _ actual _ hurt in his eyes), but any conflict is abruptly cut off as Mrs.Murphy hurries over with the camera once more, wanting to get a picture. Evan is hyper-aware of Connor brushing up against him during the group photo and then standing off to the side, face downcast, during the pictures of him and Zoe. The upside to this is that he’s not pulling a strained smile and being all-too aware of where his hands are placed on Zoe’s hips, but he’s also sure that he’s hardly smiling at all. 

“Smile you two, this is going to be a great night!” Mrs.Murphy calls as the shutter clicks, rapid-fire. Seeing Connor alone kicking pebbles on the driveway, hunched in on himself: Evan has his doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So update schedule? Nonexistent for me, sorry, especially with summer vacation going on. But the next chapter will definitely be out, and it will definitely be diving into prom so you have that to look forward to. Comments and kudos are always treated with love and care (even if I don't reply to comments, rest assured I read every single one), and thank you for sticking with me!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter of this completely self-indulgent fic because it's gonna be a wild ride as well officially enter Prom next chapter. No clue when that next chapter will be released, but it's gonna be a long one.
> 
> If you enjoyed, leave a kudo and a comment because I cherish every single one and they motivate me to write :') not that if you don't leave a comment or a kudo I won't write... because I'm already far too deep.
> 
> Constructive criticism is really appreciated too, since I'm just getting a handle on writing these characters. See you next chapter~


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